The Toadless Boy

But even then I win free pizza.

The Daily Iowan (or the Daily Idiot according to fat conservative bloggers) gives away a free pizza each week to the person who can best predict the outcome of 8 select football games the coming weekend. I thought about putting my previously mentioned NCAA Football 2003 skills up to the task, but I’m a grown man with too many other things to accomplish in life than play 8 simulation games a week. Like writing on the Internet.

A co-worker keeps on top of my entries and makes sure I submit by the deadline. Last week I won despite missing two game predictions. A free pizza just for knowing what a Nittany is (not only is it a mountain, it’s also Iroquois for “sucky”).

I’m tempted by the Wedge’s meatball pizza but considering J is the only person other than my officemate who’s proud of me for being good at guessing, I figure I should get something she likes.

Not incredibly exciting or worth 2 1/2 weeks wait for a post, but how many free pizzas did you win this week?

Quick Iowa-Syracuse picks from a guy who knows nothing about it:

A few years back when Tampa Bay was in the Super Bowl, I wrote my picks in my school’s (Miami of Ohio) weekly magazine. I based it on all the things that don’t matter in a game but that I pay attention to: Tiki Barber’s endorsement contracts. Weight of certain players. Attractiveness of uniform. And outcome in a matchup on my Madden game for the PC.

Interestingly enough, I was dead right. I said who would win and what the score would be and was exactly correct. Pretty decent.

I figured I’m on a roll (1 out of 1, man) so I would post my predictions for tomorrow’s game based solely on playing out the matchup on my PS2 version of NCAA Football 2003, complete with that Harrington fellow on the cover.

First of all the computer managed to know tomorrow’s game is a night game. It is also going to snow tomorrow.

Apparently due to the bright lights (and possibly that snow), Ferentz will opt to open every drive with the speed option. If the speed option fails to work, he will try a long slant route followed by a power option. Occasionally, “the fullback” will push the ball up the center breaking an inordinate amount of tackles. Neither side will attempt a field goal the entire night. Syracuse’s offense will manage to rack up 2 touchdowns both on simple breakaways where the safeties backpedal because they forgot which button is turbo. Brad Banks will throw 6 straight complete passes before suffering from elbow bursitis on his “option arm.” He will leave and return in 2 minutes. After being shaken up during the 2 minute injury, he will lob a pass in to triple coverage to be intercepted.

In honor of last year’s “historic” goal line stand, the Iowa defense will run goal line formation blitzes on 2nd and long. In honor of last year’s inability to capitalize on something in their home dome, Syracuse’s defense will not defend the option that appears every other play. The offensive coordinator will exclaim, “God I love to run that play” seven times.

Lee Corso will consistently say “Iowa” really funny throughout the coverage.

Iowa 28 - Syracuse 14. Go Hawks!

During the holiday weekend, I made a trip with my mom and dad down to Lowes, Kentucky to visit with my dad’s side of the family. I decided this was going to be a stress-free trip so I packed very lightly. My only goals for the weekend were to visit with family, spend some time with my camera and read. I accomplished all three.

For those that don’t know, my family is crazy and I enjoy (just about) every minute of it. There are a few headaches that come along with going to Kentucky. There are young children who are fun to be around but can be a little rowdy at times (up to and including midnight). There are distant relatives who visit who’ve never ventured outside of Kentucky to understand racism is not okay. There is a guarantee of outdated food being served. This trip included syrup that was moved out of a woman in San Francisco’s house who died at least 6 years ago, potatoes that had the maggots from the Yes video in them and ham that was browned (not on a skillet, naturally, in old bacon grease).

I spent time with my cousins (the young children mentioned earlier), went to flea markets with my aunts, uncles and Mammaw and played games with the family. We played a full game of Mexican Train dominoes (13 rounds) for the second time ever. The game began before 9pm and ended after 1am. Five of us including my mom and Mammaw and Pap stayed through the entire game. We also played a game of croquet after sundown that involves one porch light and a lot of standing by the wicket so someone knows where to aim for.

The flea markets were fun but not because of the wares that were being peddled. It was more for the cultural experience. I saw fat people cruise the booths in vans/trucks to see the goods instead of walking, rebel flags, newly-purchased rifles toted on shoulders, birds, dogs and other animals sold out of cages and RC signs everywhere.

Photos from the weekend are up on my Flickr site, which if you haven’t noticed already, is really coming along. I continue to add any new pictures I take as well as catching up older pictures eventually (including from the days of film).

Also, if you ever make it to western Kentucky, seek out Starnes Barbecue in Paducah, Kentucky. They have two locations and I can only vouch for the original, but damn is it delicious. It is a very dry hickory-smoked barbecue served on lightly grilled white bread. Their sauce is very vinegary but very delicious.