If you’ve talked to me for more than a minute there are a few things you learn that I always talk about. One of them was my first real job. I worked at Sports Connection in Cincinnati, designing and printing uniforms and shirts for the local schools and sports teams. There I developed an obsessive eye for fonts, color schemes (despite being color-deficient), uniforms and logos.

I will walk past Buffalo Wild Wings and immediately think “Chilada.” I will see any sort of investment firm/golf outing flyer and think “Bank Gothic.” Just because it says “Bank” doesn’t require you accountants to use it. When J and I were looking at sample wedding programs (or brochures, as I keep calling them [like we’re trying to sell the crowd on this marriage {”Could I interest you in something in J and Zach?”}[how’s that for nested parentheses?]]), we saw one created completely in Harlow. It was like they sat down to their computer and decided they wanted something wedding-y, like a script of some sort. The first one that came up was Harlow and they said, “Golly, ain’t that fancy like?” The bride’s full first name was Brandi.

Once at a friend’s* Super Bowl Party, he “linked” me to Uniwatch. It is a blog devoted to uniforms but on a more repetitive and obsessive scale than my obsession. I read it daily on my reader. I may be an RSS subscriber but I am certainly not a subscriber to its preachings. The author (occasional ESPN.com Page 2 author Paul Lukas) is oftentimes crabby about his ideas on uniforms and I think discourages a lot of innovation or thinking outside the box. Steadfast rules like “No purple…ever!” and encouraging “stripes for stripes’ sake” is pretty lame. Sometimes though there are some interesting factoids thrown around and great links to in depth history of some uniforms. (Not today. Today he is bitching about the pink used in celebration of Mother’s Day and for awareness of breast cancer. He never grasps the idea of using “ugly” for a purpose. Would you have been made “aware” if it was honored by properly wearing your stirrups with the higher part in the back? I think only Paul would have)

One of the sites referenced in Uniwatch is SportsLogo.net. This site has a huge collection of the history of major teams’ logos. Go to the site and look at your favorite team and reminisce about logos passed (is it “past” or “passed” in this case?) When I moved to Cincinnati from WV, this was the Reds’ logo. Along with thinking it was hideous, I never understood what Mr. Red was doing. It looked to me like he had just finished pitching with his left hand. But then why was his right foot forward and why was his left hand closed tightly already? Did he take a running throw? According to the site, he’s “running.” Is he rounding a base using his closed fist to grasp the base as he turns? Or is Mr. Red actually related to the Suns Gorilla?

So now I’m hoping when I punch you in the face you know it’s because you are wearing a full-size circle shaped logo on your T-shirt or when I hug you it is because you are accenting your navy shirt with a nice orange trim or undershirt.

* This past weekend I happened to catch a girls’ soccer game coached by “friend” against a school that rhymes with Colon. Despite a loss I did get to note that the team is outfitted in a very popular Admiral model. They were big sellers at the Sports Connection because they were really sharp looking in blue and white on a budget. I wonder if Coach Friend picked them himself or if that was an AD decision.