The Toadless Boy

Have you ever seen a Pixar movie you didn’t like?

As a Man thinking about his Future, I sometimes think about my Past. There are some things that were an everyday part of your life when you were a kid that no longer cross your mind except when writing about it on your magic computer website.

The first and most indisputable (unless you have a subscription to National Geographic or are a paleontologist) is dinosaurs. Remember how important the location of a stegosaurus’ brain(s) were and the hierarchy of coolness for dinosaurs were? Now, I’ve gone days without thinking about a dinosaur. Days.

Other ones that I propose are:

• Baby teeth
• Being good for Santa
• Any form of practice (baseball, soccer, piano)
• Jumping beans (Man, I assumed I would see these everyday in my adult life. Woody Woodpecker did.)

What say you? What consumed your child mind but no longer is a blip on the radar? The most fascinating ones are the ones you thought would never leave the radar.

I’ve already prepared a post to follow this to cleanse the palate due to the ranting and bitching that will occur in this post. But, it needs to be said.

Get up off my shit, people. I say this for more than just me but I speak from personal experience.

I live a life and part of that life is lived online. This ain’t no Second Life escape but it is a hobby that I enjoy and enjoy sharing with others. I am aware that I am doing just that but I also expect a few things in return.

The Internet is an amazing thing. I can create website(s) that can interact with friends and notify people when I’ve newly posted. I have full editorial control over what I want to say. I think this helps keep my sites from being boring. Or at least it pleases me to just say what I want. This offers someone else a (very small) glimpse of what I’m like. I bet you feel so special that I let you in to my wonderful private life and get to know the Toadless Boy a little.

That ’s next: my anonymity. You may have noticed there are a few monikers on this site and to be honest I can’t even keep them straight. I have titled the site the Toadless Boy and I’ve used the URL of Mark Fore (my default online persona). Neither of these really describe me and I know my full real name has been associated with this site before, although I try to avoid that as much as possible. This is primarily in case I run for president and not because I am embarrassed by anything I present. But because I crudely attempt to keep my identity at least unsearchable, please play along. If I haven’t advertised my blog to you, don’t advertise/identify it to others. Let them find it on their own.

If I don’t want anybody to read it, then why do I put it openly online instead of in some old school emailed newsletter to friends? Multiple reasons. First, I want it to be open. If someone wants to refinish their old floors, I have some information out there on that. If someone found me because of my interest in making monthly mixes and they like my impeccable taste in music, they can follow my posts. These people don’t need to know who I am to be part of my target audience. Second, I don’t like to force my writing on anyone. I enjoy it when my close friends read what I write and sometimes it opens up new discussions at a tailgate or allows a friend to learn that I love talking about the misuse of statistics, but if they find my drivel on music they’ve never heard of lame, they can just ignore my writing altogether. I also enjoy the technology. I’ve learned more about PHP and CSS by keeping up my own blog. I’ve increased my vocabulary and focused on editorial things such as page layout and images.

I’m pretty comfortable with what I present to people in meatspace and cyberspace. It’s a fair representation of me but it’s no substitute for actually knowing me. I am not concerned with employers (future or current) finding this space and judging me negatively based on it. First of all, I will cite the usual mantra of “Do I really want to work for someone who judges me based on an occasionally updated blog?” Secondly, I hope that someone viewing this sees that I am a generally positive and interesting person or at the very least I am capable of writing complete sentences with above average spelling.

Advice for those that know the writer but a blog was not intended for them: If you enjoy getting these little golden eggs of insight in to a coworker’s, a relative’s, a teacher’s, an authority figure’s, an acquaintance’s life, keep it to yourself. By unfairly judging, you are only killing the goose. You are taking something from them that they enjoy and have ruined it for everyone. If you feel they are doing something wrong, confront them about it. That’s what comments are for. To open up a discussion about the topics. I’m not super nuts on the whole Web 2.0 thing, but commenting on a low-traffic blog is pretty effective.

If the writer is fulfilling his or her personal duty of keeping things (especially relating to someone else) mostly anonymous, then fulfill your duty of not giving a shit. If you feel the writer is hurting you or others in some way (which they most likely are not), let them know. I’m sure you can figure something out.

Most people are able to figure out sarcasm. Most employers would understand that just because I wrote “get up off my shit” on my semi-anonymous blog that I would not write that in a business correspondence with our biggest customer in Korea. Most people will not care that I once called my dad an “asshole” in response to an inflammatory discussion of human rights. Most people will understand, despite what a once-in-a-while post might make them think, that I love my family, my wife, my friends, my job and my life.

Several of my friends’ blogs on my linklist could really go for an update. I know that it’s not their job to appease me with daily updates but I appreciate every bit of correspondence I can get. I could point out/push others but today I’m going to focus on one friend in particular: Fisherpriceman.

You sir are quite busy, I’m sure, but we’d all love an update. As a challenge for calling you out, I’m going to finally offer something promised long ago. I don’t know if you have the time right now for working out but I promised you a workout mix. I will deliver that on my site when you give the world an update on yourself.

In going with the Fisherpriceman theme, I’ll present a question for everyone to read but few to actually respond.

This weekend some older relatives brought up how they just use the Internet to get directions to places and how great it is. I was glad to hear the unnaturalized Internet citizens adopting online map technology. Recently my dad and I were discussing my childhood trip to Alaska in detail. He refused to look at Google Maps because he preferred the “good ol’ atlas.” He found the general area of what we were talking about more quickly than I could but then he was stuck. He pointed at a green blob and said “I think it was there.” I scrolled the wheel in a little closer on Google Maps and was able to determine that it in fact was that place. He still won’t make the switch until Google Maps allows him to watch Celtic music videos at the same time.

J and I had GPS along for our trip out west and that combined with 800-GOOG-411 (use this!!), we pretty much functioned as well as we could without an iPhone. This weekend I was lucky enough to have to guide my road-weary brothers to an unknown location using Google Maps printouts over the phone. It seemed so backwards to me. I felt like AAA had some business being in the trip planning business after all.

The aforementioned relatives were listing their website of choice and I heard the usual Google Maps competitors thrown out there: Yahoo! Maps, Mapquest etc. But then I had to wonder how one even arrives at this option: RandMcNally.com. (?)?!

With all the options in getting there, am I crazy to think someone visiting RandMcNally.com or Mapquest is going about it the wrong way? Or am I just a snob that should go back to my Firefox and Weather Underground and keep my mouth shut (which is what I did, until now)?

Everybody’s leaving me.

I do loves me some Iowa City in the summertime. It’s such an awesome town but I’d sure wish more people would stick around so I could enjoy it with them. At least Weebsington3000 can ogle summer students with me.

Mr. Used to Teach Now Ambassadors left IC for DC and then Jimbobwe or Oblivia. I just dropped the Lady off for her stint in California. And in less than a month, my little (make that younger) brother is leaving for the republic of Georgia for 27 months!

My brother joined the Peace Corps and that is his assignment. I was very shocked when I found out because that’s a huge commitment. At the risk of sounding fatherly and/or condescending, I’m very proud of him for it. In a time when “patriotism” seems to be just people talking about their country. We need people like my brother and Fisherpriceman out there showing what America’s really about.

So I’m out a brother, a lovely wife and a close friend, but this might be the biggest shock of them all:

I did some investigative work. They are “closed for renovations”* and are keeping the same management. They will reopen in the fall but with a different menu (different restaurant then). I made a suggestion of donuts but I don’t know if the demolition kid will pass my suggestion on to the owner.

* This is normally Iowa City-speak for “we violated our liquor license.” (I’m looking at you Skybox/Top Dog’s.) I can’t imagine Baldy’s violating a liquor license if they had one.

I’m on vacation with the Lady in California, hence the no monthly mix by normal deadline. I will be posting that and a possible vacation wrapup when I return but I had to get this out there while it was happening.

I’m watching the NBA playoffs hoping for a Pistons-Cavs and Jazz-Hornets matchup and I don’t have my handy DVR to avoid the commercials. So I’ve been seeing these WNBA commercials trying to guilt me into watching their games. To borrow a line from WNBA marketing, “no offense” WNBA, but the (Men’s)NBA is having trouble getting people to watch their games and they’re good at basketball.

Your methods of marketing are short-sighted and I have a few suggestions (although I wouldn’t mind watching your league go the way of the synthetic NBA ball). First, baseball and football have seen a huge boost from fantasy versions of their league. I recommend adopting fantasy teams that track things like blocks, assists and near-dunks. Second, as previously mentioned, I learned a lot about baseball through baseball cards. May I suggest WNBA cards? My dad could then put them in order by attractiveness, instead of b-ball stats. Candice Parker on top of course.

Lastly, my knowledge of 90s basketball came mostly from NBA Jam and NBA Live 95. Promote this more:

The Title: J and I went up to visit some of her family in northwest Iowa for Easter. On the way there we drove through lots of small Iowa towns. One of these towns was Sac City. Not only did it have an interesting name, it was certainly the most interesting town we went through. There were cool homes with statues in the yard and old banks and government buildings. I’d definitely like to explore.

The Album Art: On that same trip, we had Easter brunch in Okoboji at some hotel. This sign was keeping strict time.

Medicine (Orbit)
This song’s lyrics have always been in my head but if you asked me if I’d heard the song back in the 90s I probably would have told you no. Apparently they have new stuff coming out soon.

Rhinemaidens (The Envy Corps)
These guys are from Ames but don’t really sound like it. Someday I hope to see them when they return to their native soil. They are in the UK for a while now.

Center of the Universe (Built To Spill)
I’m not a guy who likes to hear the same music over and over again but I imagine if you played the Built To Spill catalog on repeat, it would take a long time before I would complain. I guess that’s a long way of saying a Built to Spill album would most likely be on my deserted island list.

Mr. Understanding (Pete and the Pirates)
Uptempo and fun, late in an album is pretty much a guarantee to make me satisfied. The way to my heart is through a good song late in your album, you could say.

Cherry Tulips (Headlights)
My friend Jo and I missed out on seeing these guys from Champana, Illinois this month.

Camaro (Kings of Leon)
This song always makes me think of J. Maybe because she’s one of the few people that I interact with that think a Camaro is a cool car.

I Lust You (feat. Cate LeBon) (Neon Neon)
It’s mindblowing to hear poppy sexy-type songs being created and sung by a guy that you know better for singing wacky shit in a band called Super Furry Animals.

Cassius (Foals)
I guess you would call this dance-rock. I know I’ve developed my own dance to it. I bust it out anytime this song is on. It would best be described as a variation on Jimmy Tango’s “Ride the Snake”.

Stockholm Syndrome (Muse)
I was cleaning up after some friends were over and as I was putting away my Stratocaster (of the Rock Band variety), this song came up. I took the opportunity to rock out with the “guitar” for a few.

Tape Song (The Kills)
This is very Yeah Yeah Yeahs-y and I’ll take anything like that because I’d appreciate if the YYYs released an album every month.

Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? (She & Him)
This is actress Zooey Deschanel working with M. Ward. The album is as expected without anything super interesting but for some reason the twee-ness of this song works for me.

T For Texas (The Felice Brothers)
You’ll like this if you follow my philosophy that people should make something with their voice even if they aren’t Josh Groban. This may be a little Bob Dylan-whiny but I feel it adds to the song in a fun way.

Say It Ain’t So (Weezer)
Kevin was over for some Rock Band and we were determined to pass this one on higher difficulties. We never did and I also learned that Kevin was not that familiar with the Blue Album. I was shocked.

3rd Planet (Modest Mouse)
I love late 90s Modest Mouse and hadn’t listened to it much because it falls under my “albums I’ve owned, ripped and then forgotten about because the original rip quality wasn’t good enough to cross the threshold on to my iPod.” Luckily, a few jukeboxes around town reminded me this month.

Skinny Love (Bon Iver)
Another show in Iowa City that I missed, but I’m not down. I was having fun with my friends. Definitely on the mellow end of my spectrum.

Party (Envelopes)
A rule has been broken. I rail on bands (RHCP) for not knowing how to make a complete song. This song is like 3 musical ideas that barely come together but I guess they come together enough for me to enjoy them.

Magic Spells (Crystal Castles)
Atari/Nintendo-y music that is very ambient. This is like a 6 minute long fade out to an album. The fade out really needs to come back.

Last year, I honestly tried to get back in to baseball. I thought, “I have cable now, I’ll watch me some televised games.” All I could ever find were Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs, Cardinals and/or Braves games. I thought I would do a fantasy league but those aren’t fun unless friends are involved and you are able to razz them about something. I would have spent all of my auction dollars on Jose Rijo only to find out he injured his elbow 13 years ago! My team, much like my bracket would have spent the season in last place. If I’m going to do it, there needs to be some way for me to get back in to baseball and make it less of a chore. I also need to remind myself that the Brewers are in the National League.

When I was a kid, until the year the Expos almost won the World Series had we had one, I collected baseball cards. I loved baseball cards because you could do so many things with them. In 1988 I left my entire rubberbanded Topps Giants collection out in the sandbox after coaching them through another World Series. Unfortunately, game 8 was rained out but the coach didn’t get the memo and left his team on the field. Candy Maldonado’s play was much worse after that.

My favorite smell in the world is opening up a pack of Topps baseball cards with the gum in it. You would always chew the gum because you were from WV and you took what you could get but the gum was more there to flavorize your cards. I have a box somewhere that still smells like gum almost 20 years later.

When I was 3 and 4, I traded cards with the neighborhood kids. We had a goldmine in the neighborhood named Danny. He was a kid who was much older than us and he was mentally handicapped. He and his mom went for a walk everyday at Mountaineer Mall and he returned with at least one pack of baseball cards. Everyday. Dude had triples of just about everyone. If you had something he didn’t have, he wanted it and he would trade anything of his as long as he had doubles. I’d like to see any other GM get Ken Oberkfell for Andy Van Slyke in an even trade.

I used to make my own pathetic attempt at a personalized baseball card complete with cutout “action” shot and blue college-rule lines with statistics based on my current season of Knothole. The sad thing is now I am capable of making a pretty sleek card that could rival Donruss (certainly Fleer or Score) but I have no real justification in doing so. I guess that would be a reason to have a son. Man, I would be that cool dad on the team who kept score, kept track of statistics and read the names off in a cool fashion. “Sanderson…in.. the…hole!” Of course, I’d have to start drinking at 10 am. “It’s okay I brought my own sno-cone.” Having kids: 1; not having kids: 920.

I think my ticket back in to baseball may actually be the 2007 complete set. Anybody wanna trade for Jose Rijo?

Edit: APRIL FOOLS! Do you really think I believed this was the second coming of Nirvana? I do still recommend watching the video though.

I promise someday I’ll talk about something other than music again, but it’s so hard right now since there is such great stuff out there.

Seether’s album is one I totally missed. I like to pretend I keep my ear pretty close to the ground but in doing so I miss a lot of the good stuff that is played on mainstream radio. I’m glad this album finally found me.

I just barely missed the boat when Nirvana was on the scene. I’ve heard these guys get compared to Nirvana a lot and they deserve every comparison. They are classified as “post grunge” and just like their “post punk” counterparts they have taken a genre and improved on it. Hindrances like organic lyrics and vocals have finally been replaced with the familiar sounds of the mainstream male whisper voice. No longer do I have to decipher Cobain’s deeper moments or sometimes intangible (!) lyrics because Seether doesn’t mess with getting deep or using the voice as some sort of instrument.

They haven’t changed everything though. You can see the lead singer occasionally trot out with a horizontal striped sweater just like everyone’s favorite grunge god.

But don’t take my word for it…

Check out their newest video, “Gasoline”.

To fulfill this site’s community service requirements, I present the Community Concert Calendar. Please imagine some poor audio quality generic track playing while cheesy clip art accompany these dates; or better yet, an unlicensed copy of Neil Sedaka’s “Calendar Girl.”

Believe it or not, there are tons of great shows coming to or around Iowa City. You should go. Either way, I don’t care, I plan on being at most of these with a good-looking girl (or two).

Saturday, March 22 - The Envy Corps at The Picador in Iowa City
These guys are from Ames but apparently only have an album in the UK. I really like their sound. It doesn’t sound very Ames-ian but you can hear some of that Midwestern influence. They definitely sound like they should be out of this state and keep touring nationally/internationally. I’m unfortunately going to miss them and they won’t be around Iowa until May as they’re going to the UK to tour.

Wednesday, March 26 - Throw Me the Statue at Vaudeville Mews in Des Moines
Thursday, March 27 - Throw Me the Statue at Redstone Room in Davenport
That’s officially three times I have mentioned this guy. You are now legally bound to go see him. I will most likely be at the Thursday show in Davenport.

Friday, March 28 - The Redwalls at the Picador in Iowa City
I’ve seen these guys from Chicago. I think they are shying away from this with their new stuff but it’s pretty easy to accuse them of being unoriginal. Their first two albums could be labeled as Beatles and Dylan ripoffs. It was way beyond influence. I’m excited about their newer stuff and Aaron should be in town to see this show.

Monday, March 31 - The Felice Brothers at Bob’s Underground Cafe at Grinnell College
My brother was making a Bright Eyes comparison. These guys are definitely that folksy-Americana sound but certainly less emo. It has that combination of technically bad vocals and sass that I have a special place in my heart for.

Wednesday, April 2 - Bon Iver at Bob’s Underground Cafe at Grinnell College
Saturday, April 5 - Bon Iver at University of Iowa’s Black Box Theatre
Bon Iver is on the mellow end of my style but I’m totally there. Depending on other concert conflicts and availability, I will attend one of these shows. The Grinnell show is free but the Iowa show is closer.

Thursday, April 3 - Neva Dinova, Headlights, Evangelicals, The Western Front at the Picador in Iowa City
I’m mostly familiar with Headlights (from Urbana-Champaign) and I will be at this show.

Friday, April 4 - Dan Deacon at Gardner Lounge at Grinnell College
Saturday, April 5 - Dan Deacon at the Picador in Iowa City
Dan Deacon opened for Girl Talk last time he was in town and the show was crazy. Dan involves the crowd and plays on the floor allowing folks to gather all around him. He does looped dancey stuff and sings in to a microphone with heavy effects, oftentimes sounding like a cat or a child. I am hoping to go to both shows just because I can’t get enough of the guy. The Grinnell show is free. Thanks, hippies.

Friday, April 18 - Enon at Gardner Lounge at Grinnell College
I got in to these guys during early college. They have a female and male vocalist that trade off on songs. They also have one of the most fun songs ever in “Disposable Parts.”